Our system is very complex due to an extensive trauma history combined with a heavy predisposition towards daydreaming, speculative fiction, roleplaying, worldbuilding, and stories. We are undergoing a process of unpacking it all that we call "unification" and that is functionally the same as "integration" (not in the sense of fusion).

Because of the facts that our headspace is an entire planet, we have experiences we don't fully remember, and many headmates are only aware of innerworld equivalents of outerworld events, we describe some of our experience in terms of a continent called Voidelia that was split into a West and East part, and later a Central part.

"Surface history" is what we know happened in the outerworld and that we either don't have amnesia about, or were able to deduce without recovering headmates who directly remembered it happening. "Deep history" is the history of our entire life as experienced in the innerworld. "Dark history" is stuff we've blocked out or things related to it, where details were only discovered or deduced by recovering headmates from those times.

While this page does not disclose a large amount of specific sensitive personal details, we consider it important to disclose that we do have some history of trauma, as it affects the way we behave now. This page therefore very vaguely alludes to child abuse, including grooming.

We were born in 1994 and began experiencing abuse from a very early age, including with a physical component. We dissociated into three selves to protect us - Blue, Bryan, and Blixa. Blue was a dog, and Bryan was a boy.

These were two things that, based on our concept of identity at the time, we thought were impossible for us to be (and therefore would not be having our experiences), and we also likely felt that a dog or a boy would not be in the situations we were in.

Blixa was the "base" self and acted like a cross between the two other selves but frequently felt that their sense of identity was unstable, or that it was based too heavily on their interests. The idea was that Blixa was not supposed to be aware that they had trauma, and whenever they moved into a fully stable living situation, the parts of their system would reveal themselves to them.

Then, as the trauma went on, Blue and Bryan both dissociated into more and more parts, including an exceptionally complex series of inner worlds associated with Blue's cluster of headmates where part of the complexity was due to Blue's propensity for storytelling. As a result, some parts knew we were experiencing trauma, and some did not. Meanwhile, Blixa did not develop other parts, as they were supposed to be a part that didn't have amnesia and didn't know they had trauma. Some of Bryan's parts knew about Blue's parts, and vice versa, but not all of them, and Blixa didn't know about any of them.

As time went on, Blue and Bryan began to represent two sides of the entire self that the three selves made up. Blue represented things that were unusual but that the self could more or less accept. Bryan, meanwhile, represented things it had a markedly harder time accepting, so there was very high amnesia between Bryan and Blue, while their individual parts did not have such high amnesia.

Our experience with school took several turns over the years, but in approximately 2005, we were taken out of a private Christian school and placed into homeschooling due to mistreatment from both the students and teachers. However, we were very socially isolated and spent a very large amount of time online playing text-based roleplaying games and learning about the furry fandom, although the non-amnesiac parts of us did not actively participate in fandom outside of two text games based on books we liked.

Then, in 2007, we were inexplicably struck with a sudden paranoia about people on the internet, even though we didn't know of any threatening or disturbing experiences we had had with anybody online. We dropped out of our online games and completely self-isolated, which we broke out of later that year through making in person friends through homeschool groups, including someone we are still close friends with.

We started high school in 2008 and almost immediately figured out we were queer, which would not have been accepted in any way by our adoptive family. We functioned fairly well (if under a lot of stress) until 2013, when our adoptive mother suddenly died of an aneurysm, which meant that the one non-traumatized part was inescapably aware of a life event that absolutely anyone would consider traumatic.

Blixa began rapidly splitting into other parts to help them manage ways in which their life had changed, and they quickly discovered they had a system. However, they did not think they had a dissociative disorder because they did not know about the amnesia, and while they knew that their system came from trauma, they thought it was the trauma of their adoptive mother's death, as Blixa's Supercluster had no awareness of prior past traumatic events.

Amnesia between the superclusters got even higher, as Blixa's Supercluster was now controlling the body the vast most of the time, and by 2015, the amnesia was almost absolute, and the other two superclusters had next to no access to the outerworld until 2025. The exceptions were a few times when we were in denial of our system and therefore not very aware of any parts of it at all, where Bryan's Supercluster was able to take some control.

However, the innerworlds continued as usual, and we even split entirely new sidesystems that existed purely in the innerworld until now. This means that, upon this discovery, there were headmates who are either not aware that their entire life is inside a system or who are aware they are in a system but do not personally know what the outerworld is like.

We are undergoing a process of unifying the superclusters, which involves understanding why amnesia existed between them and helping sidesystems resolve their disagreements and conflicts with each other.

Somewhere in the Local Void - a vast empty area of space where ALMOST nothing exists at all - there is an isolated solar system with one inhabited planet. The planet is called Voidelia, and so is the one massive continent that most of its inhabitants live on.

In old times, Voidelia was a collective of regions and city-states and not one unified kingdom or nation. However, regions in the east of Voidelia often had many cultural similarities to each other, as was the same with the west. As a result, East Voidelia and West Voidelia were both considered loosely united by shared cultures and histories.

West Voidelia is more traditional and tends more towards monarchies and large governments. However, its people love both knowledge and imagination, and they are kind, at least to those they perceive as their neighbors. Their culture believes in moderation, but this often manifests as excessive abstinence.

East Voidelia is much less traditional and moreso either anarchic or democratic. It tends to consist of communities or cities whose leadership, if any exists, trades off whenever it seems necessary. Its people value pleasure and self-expression, but they do not always value people other than themselves or those who are close to them.

Until 2006, the West and the East coexisted in relative harmony, although there was occasional tumult and uprisings. In particular, the West's population was always much higher than the East's, and it had much more complex and overarching systems of government.

Then, between 2006 and 2007, after a boom in East Voidelia's population, a series of events occurred that plunged the land into turmoil and severely exacerbated tensions between the East and the West. The events manifested differently in the different regions, and no single part of Voidelia knows the whole story individually, but it is known that the events were predominantly orchestrated by the government of some of the regions of East Voidelia, albeit with assistance from citizens in West Voidelia who had know-how but not political power.

However, in the years following these events, the West solidified the narrative that the East had been entirely responsible, and the most powerful regions in West Voidelia began the construction of a wall that divided East and West. Parts of the wall were built between then and 2013, and contact between the two lands became much less frequent, as the West Voidelians felt threatened by the East Voidelians and the East Voidelians did not trust the West Voidelians to treat them fairly.

Then in 2013, an unexpected natural disaster required the formation of Central Voidelia, which has some area originally claimed by either East or West but that is largely made of entirely new land. It was given an entirely new population who did not know anything about the East or West or the history between them. The wall was not formally completed, but the Central Voidelians never discovered its existence.

Then in 2015, the Central Voidelians first discovered the wall, which resulted in its immediate completion. Central Voidelia was the only part of the planet that any other planets had any contact with for the next ten years.

Central Voidelia faced many hardships, including natural disasters in 2020 that required the evacuation of the whole planet. The East and West Voidelians left for other planets, but the Central Voidelians built a giant spacecraft that was meant to house the population until stability had been regained and the planet could be restored to habitability by its scientists.

In 2025, parts of the planet were finally habitable again, and people from the space station began returning to the land. Meanwhile, some of the refugees from East and West Voidelia began returning back to their home planet, and they had stories of a whole different Voidelia that the Central Voidelians had never heard of.

Then, during the restoration process, the Central Voidelians discovered more of the wall, and the East and West Voidelians were able to tell them the story of how it had come to be built. The Central Voidelians had not been the only Voidelians after all, and a few of them realized that they had been originally born in other parts of the continent but had come to Central Voidelia with their families before they were old enough to remember.

While the process of demolishing the wall was underway, certain facts about its construction became more widely known. Specifically, one of the kingdoms of West Voidelia - the Kingdom of Narnia - had not only been primarily responsible for the building of the wall, they had also constructed a force field associated with the wall that was powered by the same machines that kept the operations of the city running. Because they had set it up in such a way that destroying the wall destroyed the forcefield, and that destroying the forcefield destroyed the machinery that kept it going, this also plunged Narnia into ruin, such that the kingdom was evacuated and its residents are finding new homes throughout the rest of Voidelia.

The Kingdom of Narnia holds little ill will about the destruction of their kingdom, however, because the Narnians - and indeed, the majority of the kingdoms of West Voidelia - believed in a prophecy in which a leader or a king would return and save their land, and while some Voidelians have mixed feelings about Unification, everyone who believed in the prophecy accepts that the destruction of the wall and the Unification into the United Federation of Voidelia is indeed the fulfilment of that prophecy. Whether they like that fact while accepting it is a different matter.

While West Voidelia is allowed to maintain its kingdoms and call its leaders monarchs, and East Voidelia is allowed to be private and to feel distinct from the rest of the land, they must both accept that, due to the fact that everyone is involved in the process of rebuilding the land from the disasters that have plagued it in the past and that harsh divisions between the West and East Voidelians only causes more problems, they must unite with Central Voidelia. However, this also means that Central Voidelia will no longer be the sole face of the planet in intergalactic affairs, and it means the East and West Voidelians will get to participate in national (not just regional) government, to freely travel between all parts of the land, to request as much assistance as they want from Central Voidelia in rebuilding and developing their lands, and to develop and share their cultures.

From an early age, we began experiencing trauma that we felt (either correctly or incorrectly) was happening to us due to certain facts that we felt unable to change, or at least that the people around us saw as incapable of being changed.

This resulted in the formation of two other selves - Blue (a dog) and Bryan (a boy), as opposed to Blixa (the original, who did not have much of a strong identity of their own).

As the trauma went on, so did the dissociation, but mostly on Blue's part, as Bryan was generally much more contained to the headspace than Blue and their parts were. As a result, Blue developed a complex headspace and many headmates introjected from stories Blue grew up with, whereas Bryan had only a few other parts.

In particular, some parts of Blue's system developed amnesia-based subsystems because of events that began in which they were abused in stages, not all of which were inherently distressing but all of which either led up to or followed things that were. Bryan's part of the system was mostly or entirely unaware that they had trauma, and Blixa (a third part who knew nothing about the rest of the system and didn't have other parts) knew nothing at all.

Blue and Bryan both had fairly strong senses of identity as they grew up, but some parts of Blue were afraid of Bryan. Bryan wasn't malicious, but Blue didn't know what to think of some of the things Bryan wanted to do or that he thought were okay. Blue was much more aware of the actual upbringing the system were receiving than Bryan was, which meant that Bryan did not have all the same standards and morals as Blue felt they were raised with.

On one hand, this meant Bryan was much less likely to fall for conservative rhetoric than Blue was, but it also meant that Bryan had trouble understanding why certain things were wrong, even if they hurt people. It did not help that Bryan was surrounded by people who thought that things could be wrong even if everyone consented and no one got permanently hurt.

If Blue was a child who obeyed, Bryan was a child who rebelled. As a result, some parts of Blue worked very hard to keep Bryan contained. This worked fairly well until the system was put into homeschooling due to mistreatment at school. Both Blue and Bryan had been fascinated by stories, history, and worldbuilding, and Blue's parts of the system had become interested in roleplaying and the furry fandom online. Since it was easy for them to finish all their school work in the morning, and since they had pretty unrestricted internet access, they spent most of their time online focusing on these topics.

Blue's family told them that certain things they could find online were dangerous or bad, and Blue stayed away from those things. However, Bryan was only interested to seek those things out, so he took advantage of the system's amnesia to use websites like MySpace and talk to goths, metalheads, horror fans, and other people that the system's family would have considered dark and evil.

Furthermore, while Blue's family was able to warn them about the things the media was talking about, they weren't able to warn Blue about more niche things, like the fandoms Blue was looking at. As a result, some parts of Blue started seeking out materials and interactions that other parts of Blue would have found inappropriate for their body's age.

Bryan's part of the system was amnesiac enough that they were largely unaware of the body's age and other facts about how it was perceived by others, and they had fewer qualms about looking at "adult" things online, or even talking to other people about such things, including adults.

Bryan's experiences on Myspace included our first experiences with queerness, alternative culture, romance, and plurality (although that was not the term they used). He learned a lot, but his teachers weren't the best people, and after events that resulted in someone getting hurt, Bryan left MySpace.

Blue found out about the events, including that some of their parts had been responsible for things that most parts of Blue condemned. Blue and Blixa dropped out of all their online games and self-isolated completely, although Blixa didn't understand why they felt compelled to do this.

Blue's fear of Bryan intensified and Blue refused to speak to or acknowledge Bryan most of the time. This led to the worsening of amnesia barriers between them. Furthermore, because most of the parts of Bryan who had been on MySpace were so ashamed of what they had done that they never talked about it, later parts of Bryan didn't know what had happened on MySpace, so they ended up doing similar things on LiveJournal, although less immediately catastrophic.

Then, in 2013, the system's adoptive mother died, which caused Blixa to dissociate into parts. Blixa was only aware of the parts that had originally come from them, so they thought that their system had only come to exist in 2013. In some respects, this was true, but Blixa was not the only self in their brain that had a system.

In 2025, we moved to another part of the state and were finally living as an adult who was independent from either a family or a partner. This, plus meeting someone in our town who reminded us of someone from MySpace without us realizing it, caused the amnesia barriers to weaken such that headmates from Blue's and Bryan's parts of the system started joining Blixa's part of the system. The first was Silent Hedges (who likely existed in 2019 - when Bryan's Supercluster was dominant due to denial of the system - but returned as our first officially-known sidesystem in 2023), but members of Mirror String were the first who were able to tell us of the system's history before we had known of its existence.

This is what caused us to realize that there had been large groups of headmates and complex internal narratives for our entire life, processing and handling parts of our life that we were certain had happened but that we had forgotten.

We began to explore the headspaces and demolish the wall, but we soon found out that the group of Narnia fictives had been maintaining the amnesia on purpose, and breaking down the amnesia barriers set in motion the events that, in the innerworld, brought about the events of the last Narnia book, in which Blixa had to act out bringing about the end of Narnia in the form of a lion in headspace. In other words, in order to heal, he had to destroy the world of his childhood.

The destruction of Narnia also shattered the original selves of Blue and Bryan, as the three selves were not meant to all know about each other at once. Furthermore, they only existed because were unable to accept that there were things we wanted to be, but now that we are mostly openly transgender and otherkin, it is much more conceivable that we are perceived as a man, or even a non-human. However, the headmates associated with their superclusters are still necessary, because they hold trauma and memories that would be too overwhelming for one headmate to hold on their own.

However, the essences of Blue and Bryan remain in the system, and they always will. When they shattered, part of Blue fused with Vitani, part of Bryan fused with Trevor, and part of both of them fused with Vyvian. There are likely other headmates with whom they fused, especially ones who are more similar to what Blue and Bryan were like when they existed in the system.

The process of lowering the amnesia barriers and integrating the other superclusters with our current life is called Unification, and it involves uncovering our past trauma to understand why parts of our system behave the way they do and how to help them live as best as they can. This includes both superclusters learning that they can be anyone they want to be and that neither are a danger to each other if both are acknowledged and given outlets for their feelings and desires.