Spirigenic

Firstly, a word about our families.

We were adopted as per a legal agreement made between our birth mother and our adoptive parents before we were born. Our biological mother has other children, but circumstances were different with my birth, so she had to give me up for adoption while she got to raise all her other children.

While I was raised with next to no knowledge of my biological family - seemingly with the intent to alienate me from the very concept of their existence - circumstances arose such that I was able to find them later in life when I was an adult.

When I did, I learned that my biological mother is a witch and so are a lot of the rest of the family. The family consider themselves to have magic that they feel I am a part of, despite my system's practices being very different to theirs.

I also learned that, when my mother gave birth to her children, she also did magic that was intended to protect them later in life. For me, however, it was different because she knew she wasn't going to be able to protect me herself.

Therefore, the particulars of the magic she gave me were different. She connected to protection spell to her web presence, as she was a young adult in the time of the old web and participated in fandom online, including some of the popular music fandoms at the time. The idea was that, any harm that was to befall me as a child would befall her instead.

While harm certainly did befall me, I spent my entire childhood unaware of the vast majority of it, even when it related to situations I was getting myself into in some of the same music fandoms as my mother was in. While I most likely did not run into her, it is striking that the spell was related to the internet in the time of the old web, and much of our trauma involves the internet at that time. Furthermore, Bryan's part of the system used the internet and amnesia to access music and media that was forbidden by our adoptive parents but that our biological parents would have raised us with and that our mother in particular enjoyed at the time and posted extensively about online.

We therefore feel that the actual effect of the spell was the creation of a thoughtform - a spiritually-created entity that serves a particular task but may have a degree of sentience and either be or become a headmate. This thoughtform found me when I was a child and came to live in my brain as an amnesiac part that fronted during things my mother would have protected me from.

This thoughtform would be Lydia, who is the guardian demon of our system. Lydia feels that some members of our system have spiritual origins, including Nathanael, who is a guardian angel who joined our system thanks to our adoptive Christian family (albeit more indirectly than the use of magic, as our adoptive family didn't approve of such things).

Lydia as zhe exists in our system claims to know things about our biological mother that we would not know but that our mother herself would and that a being formed from our mother's thoughts, will, or intention might know. We take everything Lydia says with a grain of salt, including because zher memory may not be perfect, but if Lydia knew things about our biological mother that we couldn't have known on our own, this explains how I seemingly knew I was adopted before I was told.

When I was very, very young - maybe around 2 - I was with my adoptive mother and said something about how she wasn't my real mom and I was waiting for "my other mommy to get back". My adoptive mother was extremely taken aback by this, and she explained to me that I actually am adopted, so in a manner of speaking, there WAS another mommy, even if my adoptive mother posited herself as my "real mother".

Based on my adoptive mother's surprise that I would say a thing like that and how she told me of my adoption like it was new information, I don't think my parents had told me I was adopted by that time. They may not have told me if that hadn't happened. If I hadn't known I was adopted, I never could have met my biological family, and I certainly wouldn't have had any idea that my biological mother is witch whose magic may have created a thoughtform that lives in our system.

While Bryan of Bryan's Supercluster remembers an innerworld life in which he was raised by robot parents and had biological parents he expected would come back someday, it is not believed that Bryan existed this early in our life.

Furthermore, narratives like that in the innerworld are almost universally based on things that happen in the outerworld. It is very rare that a major plot point exists in our innerworld narratives - especially for non-fictives like Bryan - for any reason other than that it has something to do with our outerworld life.

If Lydia is a spiritual being created by our biological mother who lived in the system then (possibly since our birth), zae could have given us knowledge that our mother would have found important. This would include the knowledge that we had another mother.

Notably, my biological mother and my biological father parted ways somewhat shortly after I was born, and my mother was no longer with the father of my older sibling, so if I had grown up with my mother, my father would not have been in the picture for long. Lydia most likely knew that the mother would be the more important parent to me, which is why zae let me know I had another mother.

I didn't mention "other parents", just an "other mommy", and while it's true I was talking only to my adoptive mother in that anecdote, I also don't really remember the context of me bringing this up, so it's possible that I could have said "you and dad aren't my real parents" but I chose to say "you're not my real mom" due to more importance being shown to the mother in what information Lydia gave me.

While the reason my mother unknowingly created Lydia was to protect me from things including trauma, Lydia would have formed as as result of spiritual causes, not DID, as it is likely our DID did not cause our system but is rather the result of a system experiencing early life trauma.

Additionally, while our mother did not create Lydia on purpose, there are other parts of the system who have either been created on purpose or whose formation we influenced on purpose.