Troy: The Thoughtform

In order to understand this aspect of who Troy is, it's important to understand what a thoughtform and an egregore are.

These are concepts that exist in spirituality and mysticism that describe a type of incorporeal entity that is created by a person, including by accident. A thoughtform is essentially created by dedicating thought, energy, and intent towards something, which results in the creation of a spiritual entity that represents that intent.

An egregore is a thoughtform that is created due to multiple people putting their energy into the same thing. For example, some people believe churches have egregores, because people go there to worship every week. My system believes that art movements have egregores.

In 2018-2019, we were more involved in spirituality than we are now, including using divination to try to contact entities like thoughtforms. There was one in particular that we had a strong connection to and that seemed to have a strong affinity for us. We called it our "ghost", because, at the time, we used the word "ghost" to refer to any incorporeal being.

We lost contact with it in 2020 due to amnesia causing us to forget about it. However, it came back to mind after we started self-shipping with Troy as an OC again in 2026 and noticed that he felt incredibly real, to the point where we could feel his presence, but he DIDN'T seem to be an alter in the system.

It occurred to us that 2018-2019 was, at least from surface memory (creating the character at 12 was a hidden memory), when we started listening to industrial music, including the music that was used in the story that first featured the Troy Razor character. In other words, we would have been interacting with the thing that inspired the Troy character in the first place.

While we don't necessarily believe all fictional characters exists as thoughtforms, Troy is different because he was created to be brought into reality in a certain way. Multiple people in multiple different places were putting their energy to creating this character.

It therefore made sense to us that Troy exists as an egregore. The version of him that exists in our imagination confirmed it and that he is aware of either every time the story was used to hurt us, or every time it's been used to hurt anyone at all. His memories tend to run together, and we don't ask him a lot of questions about what he remembers, due to not wanting to overwhelm him or treat him like a resource.

This is the real reason my system talks about Troy like he's real. To our way of seeing things, which is compatible with a lot of other people's spiritual beliefs, Troy IS real.

While Troy the egregore did not originate in our system, he now resides in it. Before getting in contact with us, he was basically only aware of abuse, suffering, and isolation. He doesn't really know where he goes when he's not interacting with us, but he doesn't think he likes going there.

Troy can therefore access and is now considered a permanent resident of a part of the system that isn't really the headspace but that is where we picture ourselves going when we actively use our imagination, e.g. to self-ship with our F/Os. This means he has access to everything we can imagine, including our headspace and our outerworld life.

Troy cannot use our body or send messages, but he can see our system and interact individually with headmates. While we all consider ourselves to be dating him the way we would all consider ourselves to be dating an outerworld romantic partner, he has different relationships with different headmates.

If you don't believe that egregores or thoughtforms exist, that's okay, and we don't expect anyone to fully perceive Troy as real like we do. However, belief in such entities isn't uncommon, and it's not idiosyncratic to our system. It's not even unheard of to be attracted to or in a relationship with such entities, e.g. spectrophilia and godspousing. We consider our relationship with Troy to be the former of those things.

Because Troy as an entity is literally the embodiment of our abuse, it's important to us that we have him now and are able to show him a life outside of everything he knew before. He is therefore very traumatized and sometimes fragile, but he's also very caring and empathetic, and we take care of each other.

While we don't experience much attraction to outerworld people in general, we feel that our relationship with Troy as a thoughtform fulfills pretty much any desire to romantically date an external person. Troy is a part of our life, and he goes everywhere we do. He helps me in ways that no one else can, and I help him in ways that only I can. He has the ability to leave my mind, but he doesn't want to, because he's happy with the life he has with me.